Friday, October 30, 2009

Titus Ate A Glow Stick!

This past weekend was the annual “Flu shot day!” Yeah!....NOT! My kids absolutely dread this day! It gives them anxiety for weeks just knowing it’s coming. Max does really well with shots but Titus is another story. He goes absolutely berserk when it comes time to get a shot…I mean crying, screaming hysterically, writhing around and howling like a wolf is all standard operating procedure with him when he gets a shot. So in order to ease the pain of getting the flu shot, or any shot for that matter, we started rewarding them with a toy every time they have to get a shot. Judge me all you want, but it works, so I’m stickin’ to it!


On Saturday we headed up to good ‘ol Kaiser Permanente for our shots and believe it or not, Titus did great! Oh, there was crying, but nothing like the normal freak show he brings. I was impressed! So we all got in the car and headed to Walmart for toys.


All of a sudden, Titus starts yelling “Mommy, help me!” As I’m driving, I look back to see him holding up both arms and glowing green goo is dripping down his arms! I started to panic a little and asked him, “Is that from a Glow stick?!” (mind you, I didn’t even know he‘d brought one into the car) As he is saying, “Yes mommy, it’s a Glow stick”…..I look up at his face and see more green glowing crap coming out of his mouth and all over his cheeks!!!!! This is when I start to panic….A LOT! I yell to Scott to start making him spit and clean him off, as I put the pedal to the metal and begin driving at light speed to Walmart. As I screech into the parking lot, Scott tells me to “calm down”, which I’m sorry to say would be virtually impossible for any mom at this point to be calm! I hop out of the car, grab Titus and start running for the bathroom…


…I’d like to interject at this point just to point out the fact that I am going to try to clean off a glowing green, potentially poisonous, substance from my sons mouth and body in a public bathroom….a Walmart, public bathroom! Does anyone else see the irony in that besides me?


But I digress…So we get to the bathroom and they have those really, REALLY annoying sensors for the water. And I can’t get the stupid thing to work! Once I finally do, it just barely streams out, so there is no way to get the water into his mouth so we head out to find a drinking fountain. So he’s swishing water in his mouth and spitting it back out into the fountain, which I’m sure just looked horrifically grotesque to all the customers there at wonderful Walmart! Once it was all out of his mouth we went back into the bathroom and I began to wash his arms off with a thoroughness that could only be matched by a HazMat team!


I then called my sister, who gave us the Glow sticks and who also had one of her daughters eat a Glow stick a while back, and when she called Poison Control they assured her that it’s not poisonous! We both can’t understand for the life of us, how something that glows in the dark is NOT PIOSONOUS! But we’re goin’ with it!

All I can say is thankfully…potential disaster… thwarted!

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Fun In The Snow

What an awesomely huge snow that dumped on us. Close to 2 feet! The kids had so much fun playing outside in the snow. We have a small hill in our backyard that the kids love to sled down. I spent some time outside too, mostly shoveling, but I did build them an igloo that later turned into a tunnel! Here's a few pics from the day....







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Titus On Snow Day

Today ended up being a snow day. Which means both kids home....ALL DAY! After spending the morning running around in his underwear, Titus finally decided to get dresses. Sure, he put on normal clothes, but then he strapped on his super-expandable bat wings (which have a 4 foot wing span I might add and knock over and bump into everything. Not to mention they're spring loaded so you never quite know when those suckers could take you out!) and danced around the house playing his harmonica! Nothing is entirely normal with this kid....but I gotta be honest, I dig that about him!


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Thursday, October 29, 2009

Underwear & Wristbands

I don't really know if it's the same for all boys, but mine only want to run around the house in their underwear. It's almost impossible to get them dressed. Perhaps it's some primal, boy instinctive thing? Whatever the reason, it causes them to act like wild animals! They get all "Jo-Jo The Circus Monkey" whenever they get down to their underwear! (...or naked....that means even crazier!)

So the other morning I awoke at 6:45 a.m. to the sound of the boys playing drums and guitar, down in the basement, as loud as humanly possible! When I went down to check on them they were both wearing only their underwear BUT they also had on wristbands. I thought, "Wow! Quite imaginative of them to be in their underwear but think that they needed that little extra "rocker looking" something to complete their outfits!" So....I of course stayed and took in the show, and then was off for some much needed coffee.

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Just For Starters

OK....so this blog is new but I was thinking, just to get things rolling, I would take some of my favorite entries from my old blog and post them on here. So below are some oldies but goodies...and I added some pics to them. So enjoy!

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My Favorite Max Quotes


So I recently reconnected with an old High School buddy and he told me a funny story about something his daughter said to him and it got me thinking about all the funny things my oldest son, Max, has said over the last 5 years. Don't get me wrong....Titus says some funny things too but I'll post those later. So here's just a few of my favorites:

1. (After receiving praise for doing something well) "I are advanced!"

2. "Is there a parade in my world?"

3. "When I wake up early in the morning the light makes my head evil."

4. (After telling me that he would like to have 5 children when he grows up) "I think I'll have aunt Katie have all 5 of my babies, cuz she's always got a baby in her belly."

5. "Does Jesus hear me burp?"

6. (After being asked why he did something bad) "Because I'm an evil genius!"

7. (While praying) "....and Jesus, we know that you died on the cross, and you took away our sins, and that your love can kill anything...."

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Pooptacular!

Well, today involved yet another “Pooptacular” incident! For those of you that don’t know about my youngest son’s last “poop incident” you can read about it in the entry titled “Beware of Quiet Time.” BUT, for those of you who keep close tabs on my son’s poop history, we were blessed AGAIN with another episode of “toilet etiquette.”

My son yells to me from downstairs, “Mom….I dropped something in the toilet!” As I head downstairs for a closer inspection, he informs me that after he pooped he was holding his popsicle in his mouth, by the stick, and as he was gazing upon the view of what he just left in the pot he dropped his entire popsicle in the toilet! “I pulled it out with my hands mom”, he exclaims as he then puts one of his hands in his mouth of anticipation of what I will say next. “Get your hands out of your mouth!”, I yell! “I threw it away this time mom. I didn’t eat it”, He says….as I’m thinking, “Well, thank God for that!” So I made him wash his hands…..like a hundred times, and explained to him (once again) that things should NOT be pulled out of the toilet and put in your mouth…blah, blah, blah….will he EVER learn????

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Beware of Quite Time!


It’s a very rare thing that we experience “quiet time” in our house. With two young boys it’s usually more like something that resembles the sounds at a hockey game with screaming, fighting, time outs and the occasional blood bath! So when things are quiet my husband and I start to get worried. Yesterday was one of those times (and for good reason.) After an extended period of unusual silence my husband, Scott, went to check on the kids. Max was in his usual spot playing with Legos in his room. He saw the bathroom light on and assumed Titus was in there but thought he should check in on him anyways. (Thank GOD he did) He opened the door and curiously found Titus naked from the waist down and washing off his piece of gum in the sink. Titus explained to his dad that while he was pooping he had dropped his gum in the toilet so he reached in, fished it out and was cleaning it off so he could keep chewing on it! (Yes, you may throw up now!) Of course Scott explained to him how utterly gross that was and that you can’t eat things that have touched poop! Thankfully, today at school they taught him all about germs. I’m hoping it sinks in. Lord only knows what this kid has stuck in his mouth!


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Out of The Mouth of A Child

After getting home from church today this was the dialog between my husband Scott and our two children Max and Titus:

Scott: Titus, go wash your hands.

Titus: Why?

Scott: Because you were just at church so you need to wash them.

Max: Yeah....Church people are dirty!

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To The Hospital....AWAY!

So today, Karrie and I were supposed to work on the book. We get together every Monday to write and we pay for a sitter to watch the kids. This morning Karrie called to inform me that one of her girls had a really bad stomach ache and she needed to take her to urgent care to find out what was going on. Instead of canceling our workday, we decided we would still try and get together at her house as planned.

I arrived at Karrie’s house and met the sitter at noon but Karrie wasn’t there yet.
A short time later Karrie called my cell and said she had been sitting at the doctors’ office for about an hour and a half at this point and still hadn’t seen the doctor. (Don’t you just HATE that?) She had no idea how much longer it would take. In the mean time, my kids were getting antsy, as we were locked out of Karrie’s house, so they started playing in her front yard and running in the snow.

While I’m on the phone with Karrie deciding what to do Titus, my 3 year old, slips on a rock and falls. But because his hands were cold from throwing snowballs he had them stuck in his pockets, therefore he couldn’t get them out fast enough to brace his fall. So he hit a rock…face first! I screamed (of course) and both the sitter and myself went running as fast as we could toward Titus. As I picked him up and there was blood gushing out all over his cheek, under his eye and it had instantly swollen up and filled with blood, or fluid (or God only knows what that was.)

So I called my husband and frantically told him what had happened and said that he needed to meet me at the urgent care center by our house.
(And I admit that YES! I broke every speed limit the ENTIRE way there!) Once we arrived we were informed that they don’t open until 5 p.m.! (What the? Urgent Care? Not open ‘til 5? FREAK!!!) We then raced up to the hospital, which added another ten minutes to our trip! And I’ll have you know I DID NOT speed that time, as I was following my husband who was just “Oh…so mellow…and calm…and slow!” which really made me mad! (OK, so I was a little on edge, or as some would say, “over the edge”, but he was just too stinkin’ calm! COME ON! “Drive like the wind dang it!”) You see I don’t have the best track record considering the first time BOTH my children ever threw up it resulted in hospitalization. When my kids get hurt, they do it BIG! So I’ll admit I can tend to be a little, shall we say, “overly cautious?”

Once we got to the hospital they proceeded to check Titus over and clean out the wound (which was just glorious I
might add! –NOT!) Then they put some numbing solution on and you would swear they had put flesh-eating acid on his face by the amount of screams coming out of him! Thankfully, he didn’t need stitches and they were “fairly certain” he hadn’t broken the bone under his eye. They offered to x-ray him but at that point that was the very last possible thing IN THE WORLD I wanted to experience! About two and a half hours into this ordeal the most amazing lady came in and offered him a lollipop and you would have thought the heavens themselves had opened up! From that point on, the doctor was poking away at his wound, looking at it with weird glasses, shinning bright lights in his eyes and he was as happy as ever just suckin’ on his lolly! All was OK until…we had to put on “the dreaded band-aid!” Yep, that’s right! He completely lost it over a BAND-AID! I put band-aids on this kid daily and all of a sudden he decides to go into full atomic meltdown mode over getting one!?!? So the finale of the day was Titus screaming bloody murder and flailing around in a doctors’ chair, while I ever so gently placed a band-aid over his boo boo!

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Oh Poop!

When you have kids, it seems everything in the world revolves around POOP! (or going potty) I feel I’m always asking things like, “Do you have to poop? Did he go poop? Why hasn’t he gone poop? Does this poop look right to you? How’s it possible for that much poop to come out of such a small boy?”…you get the picture. I also don’t get what it is with potty etiquette in my house. No one ever tells you that, as a parent of boys, you will have to do things like hold down their “Mr. Peepers” for them if you don’t want pee to shoot out everywhere. (In case you’re wondering, “Mr. Peepers” is what we affectionately call it in our house.) Seriously though, those things are like guns firing at will! And with absolutely no aim!

This morning my youngest son, who had already had a time out for peeing all over the front of the toilet earlier, began to yell, “Mommy! I pooped!” (Which really means: Mommy, get down stairs and wipe me!) As I headed towards the bottom of the stairs I saw my child rounding the corner butt- naked. He saw me and said, “Mommy, I pooped, you have to wipe my butt.” Just as I began to ask him why he was completely naked, running around the house and NOT waiting for me in the bathroom, he proceeded to turn around showing me quite an amazing sight. He had a HUGE glob of toilet paper (with a longer string of T.P. hanging from it) stuck between his butt cheeks! Oh yeah, and I forgot to mention that there was a MASSIVE amount of poop smeared ALL OVER IT! As he began to stick his hand in it, I freaked out yelling, “STOP! DON’T TOUCH IT!” I did however manage to get him back to the bathroom and all cleaned up. Just another day in the life of two young boys learning to potty I guess. Good times…good times…

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The Family Unit

The Family Unit
My husband, Scott, and I have been together for 24 incredibly wonderful years! We have two children; our oldest son Max (A.K.A. Boog, Boogie or his full name Maximus when he's in trouble) and our youngest son Titus (A.K.A. Ti, T, Bird, T-Bird, Birdie or some other variation of the sort). Life with these three is absolutely amazing, terribly funny, franticaly busy, positively crazy and without question, never boring! I'm truly a blessed woman!

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